hi it's so nice to see you here! :) My name is the name of the current month (so, "Enable Javascript You Fucking Nerd" right now). Sometimes my name is Fervor but only for a few days at a time. Pls use xe/xer or she/her pronouns for me. I live in Denver, CO. I am a self-diagnosed hypochondriac and I like wasting money on supplements. For work, I do computer programming. I want to feel more love but my heart is pretty closed right now. I have an affinity for mirrors but not fully in a narcissistic or vain way, there is something a bit metaphysical about it. I got weird about eyes for a while but I think I'm normal now because I figured it out. I am interested in intentional community and I think I should probably live on a commune or something similar but I have not found the right one yet. I love glass as a material, I collect stained glass. I have a split tongue and a lot of tattoos, and I hope to get permanent fangs soon. I am not a danger to myself or others. I have a robust support network. Right now I'm pretty into live music.
In order to better locate me in thought-space, you may also want to view my suggested reading list.
Do you have questions? Complaints? Something I said made you feel strongly? Suggestions for things I should read or do, given what you know about me? Someone you think I should meet? (Referral bonus if we really hit it off is subject to negotiation (/hj)) Just want to talk? You should message me!
I can be reached via Signal at month_day_year.58, Discord at month.day.year, or email at mirror@fervor.diy (backup: oneirophage at pm dot me). If you would like my (personal) Instagram, please message me through a different method and ask for it.
Should these contact methods fail, never fear - simply burn something meaningful and I will find you.
I post fragrance reviews on Fragrantica as @spiralataxic. You can see what music I listen to on Listenbrainz under intercommunicating-trivium. I have some code on codeberg/oneirophage, but really nothing too interesting.
I used to be on tumblr under the handles @witchdisk and @accreature before getting banned and deleting, respectively. (Some content is still available on the internet archive, under url.tumblr.com or tumblr.com/url.) I used to use fedi, handle @codicil@discordian.social.
This website used to be hosted at marking.neocities.org.
I'm using "marking" as an umbrella term for actions that leave a visible change to your own (or someone else's) appearance. It encapsulates a lot of things that have felt distinct, and helps me think about them as a group. The throughline - what makes this interesting to me - is making the invisible visible, and creating harmony between the internal and external worlds. It's like breathing or singing. It's a part of the process of being in the world. It can be magic or body modification or self-harm. This isn't really a kink to me, but a lot of people see it that way. It's about how you hold it.
The internal and external are both infinite, but the paths between them (breath, touch) are limited. Through breaking the skin, you create new pathways for energy to flow (metaphysically, this is a type of eye). You can use this to bring things out of the internal world so the external is a better resonator and clearer conduit, and to change the external world to effect internal transformation. This is about harmony of the soul (whose boundaries lie beyond the skin).
When you paint on or bite someone and then every day they (and others!!) see and feel the marks, this makes visible your emotions and link to them. Getting tattooed with others makes visible the bond. Scars make pain and strength visible, along with the intentions you bring. They can mark significant events, shifts, promises, or things you wish to carry with you always. This is also why symbols are important to me; they are the language (in the sense of Walter Benjamin) we use when creating marks.
Or, from another, much more morbid angle:
The damage feels like the literalization of a prior brokenness that only I could see, as if the sensation preceded the violence. I think there are many people in this world whose fate is traveling backward to meet them, and they live with their ghost wounds waiting for time to kiss them and make visible what they have held all along.(PSYCHO NYMPH EXILE)
In addition to wearing off, marks can wear in, metaphysically being absorbed into the body. For example, I was compelled to draw eyes in blood on my chest over the course of a month; each one wore in as it faded, and once I had done all three, the task was complete. Another example is painting on the bottoms of shoes; the words and symbols wear in to the shoes, strengthening and empowering them as they fade. At this time, it is unclear what causes something to wear in instead of wear off.
At the time of writing, none of the text of any post on this site was written or edited by LLMs, and if I ever include any LLM-generated text, I commit to clearly marking it as such. I have used LLMs to generate some javascript, CSS, and general website plumbing.
I have not been compensated monetarily for any content on this website.
When you access this website (or any website), your browser's request sends your IP and the page you want. My webserver stores this information so that I can tell how many people are viewing my site. Nobody else sees it, and I delete it after a few months.
The zipped source for this website and the comprehensive changelog is available here.
I don't really like when websites like this one hide stuff unless there's a really good reason. So everything on the website is pretty easy to find, it's all linked on the main page or maybe one level deeper at most. I don't want to waste your time.
I don't really believe in licenses but I also don't really believe in copyright. Therefore, this website (and all text, art, etc of mine on it) is technically all-rights-reserved (the default, for non-explicitly-licensed stuff in the US). But I think it's awesome when people do stuff without permission. I'm not giving you permission.