Overall Worth It

Pregabalin

This was my first time taking pregabalin. I've had lower doses of gabapentin and phenibut a few times, and I found them to mesh really well with my brain. I got the pregabalin from someone who alleged it to have come from a pharmacy prescription, and the pills had the correct shape/color/markings to support this. I didn't test them, though. I was hoping for euphoria and increased social skills, the ability to talk to people and have a nice time. I'd been feeling sad and alone, scared and constantly distracting myself lately - bad headspace for an acid trip, but hopefully an ok one for this. I made the decision to use this drug somewhat last minute, I wasn't even sure I'd go out that night until a couple hours prior. This day, I had taken 60mg vyvanse in the morning, double my usual dose. I took the pregabalin on an empty stomach. I had a limited supply, so I didn't want to waste any by taking a small amount and not feeling it. I decided to take a decent dose - 300 mg to start, with 3 additional 100 mg pills in my pocket if I thought I'll be able to handle them.

5:08 pm: I take 300 mg pregabalin. I finish getting a cute outfit together.

5:40 pm: The come-up is very uncomfortable. I get in an Uber. I'm super flushed, my skin is hot and I'm really nauseous. I get kind of car sick, but I don't throw up, which is a blessing. The car ride seems to take forever. I get to the show and wait for it to start. Once it does, I dance really intensely right up at the front for a while before going outside to talk to people. I spend the next few hours going back and forth between dancing inside and talking outside. I am not nauseous anymore. The show is a furry rave - there are lots of people in cool outfits, the music is loud and hard. I am not a furry but I fuck with them heavy. It is incredibly hot outside. I drink a lot of water.

7:00 pm: It's really starting to hit mentally/emotionally. I decide that I like this, and I want more, so I take another 100 mg pill. At this point, I'm super social. I make new friends easily. I learn cool things about people. I see people who are in love with each other and the only thing that I feel is that I'm really happy for them. There's no jealousy or envy. I am full of simple joy. I am not self-conscious or judgmental. It feels a bit like MDMA. It's really nice.

?:?? pm: I am no longer keeping track of time at all. Using my phone is quite hard. Since it's so nice and I want the train to keep rolling, I take another 100 mg pill. I think this was a mistake.

10:00 pm: The nausea has returned in full force. It's really bad and I get dizzy and my head kinda hurts if I try and move it or walk. The vyvanse has worn off. I sit down in the outside space of the venue and lean up against a truck. I really wanna lay down, but this is supposed to be a sober space (I forgot until it was too late), so I can't look like I'm obviously on drugs, so I don't lay down. I look bad enough that someone comes over, somewhat concerned, to sit with me and we talk for a while. He seems somewhat into me but I don't care. After a while he asks if I want to lean on him, which I do, but I don't really feel anything. I'm pretty open about things that I wouldn't normally be open about. I notice that I'm open but not necessarily vulnerable, if that makes sense.

At this point I am getting pretty vivid hallucinations with closed eyes. It is weird. I look around and see all the people. Then I close my eyes and see a different outside with different trucks and different people in different outfits. It is super detailed and it looks pretty real. I open and close my eyes several times and the effect persists - two settings, two sets of people. Before and after this, I see a lot of stuff that is spiky and moving over itself, like a lot of crystal-cell-spines agglomerated into 2d masses. The whole thing is kind of interesting, but there is no substance behind it. None of these hallucinations mean anything. I like pretty pictures though, especially when they move with the music.

11:00 pm: The show ends, everyone's leaving. I missed the headliners because I was sitting outside either talking to people, or later, being too nauseous to move. It's okay though because I love all music and I got to dance to some great stuff. I determine that what I need to do is throw up. I'll feel much better after I do that, so I make a straight line for the bathrooms. (Well, not straight, I can't walk straight.) If they had been occupied we would have had a situation, but they weren't, so we didn't. I void the meager contents of my stomach, not having eaten very much at all that day, and I feel a lot better. The nausea is pretty much gone. I catch a ride with a friend to the second show at the second venue.

11:30 pm: I get out of the car and have to sit down outside and throw up again. (The ride made me nauseous.) Luckily, I thought ahead and brought a paper cup to throw up in so I wouldn't make a mess. I go inside and toss the cup. This venue is much more chill, and they have couches, so I lay down on the couches. It's very cozy and it's kind of hard for me to think. I mostly zone out. I pay attention to a couple of conversations and say some things once or twice, but nothing of import really. I am still getting vivid closed-eye hallucinations. I am really happy to be lying down. I briefly go outside where the music is, once or twice, but it is nicer on the couches for me.

1:00 am: A friend lets me put my head in her lap, and she runs her fingers through my hair. The pregabalin gives increased tactile sensation. It's really nice to be in physical contact with someone at this time and it feels very good. It's exactly what I want.

2:00 am: The show ends and my friend and I stay for a bit longer. I get a ride home and get back around 2:45 am.

3:07 am: I'm still pretty nauseous. I dictate the first draft of this report. I take a chewable Pepto-Bismol and pass out.

7:00 am: I wake up with the sun shining on me. I go back to sleep.

12:30 pm: I wake up for real. Headache and nausea. I feel like shit. I take a Zofran and eat most of a pizza. Terrible headache still.

3:27 pm: I drink a monster rehab and take a big ibuprofen. It helps some.

5:30 pm: I'm down to a normal-level headache + brain fog.

Overall, I enjoyed the experience. It was really nice getting to talk to people. I made two connections that I think might bear a lot of fruit. That happened because I was so open, because it was so easy to talk to people. I also just plain had a nice time for a while, which was really a breath of fresh air.

On this high a dosage you need a spot to lay down, and there wasn't one of those at the first show that I was at. Ideally, I think you want a spot that's pretty dark and doesn't have a lot of things happening in it, with some dim lights and maybe another person or two that you can cuddle up on. I think that's the thing that you want for the come-down.

This was definitely the wrong dosage for this situation. The repeated dosing was also not smart. It's not worth having the body load recur - I think it's better to get through it and be done. (Though, maybe if I had it all at once, I would be saying it would be better to spread it out!) I am hoping the nausea can be mitigated by having food in your stomach, and by having Pepto-Bismol, ginger, and Zofran handy, all of which I will try next time.

I felt kind of silly - lately I feel I have been the one helping out others who've taken too much, but now it was my turn to depend on the people around me. It was nice, in a way. Maybe I can fuck up a bit and it's chill. Maybe people are inherently good. Maybe nobody else was ever expecting me to be perfect in the first place, and maybe they care about me anyways. Still, probably best to not make a habit of this.

Now that I have a handle on what this drug does for me, I think the next thing to do will be trying it in lower doses in combination with other substances. I think it can push things in really the right direction, but in and of itself, it has very little depth. It's a good social drug, though.